Well below are some of the lovely comments I received from fellow writers on the Authonomy site. Warts an all !!
Including a lovely message from me ole mucker Reg.
The "backings"/ "Shelvings" received have pushed me up the ratings.
Since going live 31st October and ranked at 6000+ I have now moved to 1319. Luvely jubbley.
REVIEWS OF the Eye of Erasmus
I agree with other commenters that this is potentially powerful stuff with the air of myth making about it. However the initial paragraphs are dense and you need something good to pull the reader in in the first pages. I would consider show not tell in this space and the most compelling image is of the sister being dragged out to be hanged as a witch. Maybe showing this as an event with dialogue etc. Backed for potential. Doug, The Goose.
A very enjoyable read! I'm looking forward to reading more. Backing!
CamilleThe Hobble Knobble Gobble Tree
Apart from the very long and sometimes turgid paragraphs, this is a good read, and will interest fantascists everywhere. Good luck with it. Backed. Best wishes, Tony.
Teresa This is so enchanting - what fun!You have a grand adventure here, full of exuberance, magic and prophecy. Ha-ha! A time travelling lover with attitude has to go a long way.Shelved with my best wishes
An eternally repeating story...WOW...shelved forever or..Erasmus and Shasta are super attractive charactersand this flies along...Excellent.Suggestion.Ch 1 is has a lot of explaining. You could possibly do a clip flashbackof her sisters death, also maybe leave some of it to emergelater?Lots of fun with it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Mikey The Free
Dear Teresa,I was attracted by the cover and the Title.What you got up here reads like a fairytale, quite lovely.Ocasionally a little space between scenes would help orientation.I'll drop in to see if there's more to come.Best LuckPia (Course of Mirrors)
Urania (A published author many times over)
Theresa, a subject after my own heart! I love the pitch, the title, the premise. And the writing to boot. I'm not usually fond of books that set the scene and tell the history of someone's life before getting to the action, but this works. However, it may be that you need to bring it to life sooner and thread the back-story through the action., or bring some of the growing up elements to life. Anyway, love the whole feel of this tale, mythical, yet enough flesh and bones to make it real. And to me, myth is reality. My only other suggestion would be to break up some of those rather lengthy paras (particularly in Chapter two). Great read, and shelved with pleasure.
Excellent, cover, title and pitch. I loved the opening, very descriptive and tells us what we need to know. I thought it so sad that her sister was accused of witchcraft, dragged out of bed and hanged, terrible. Excellent writing in a genre that I like very much. Shelved with pleasure.SandieThe Crown of Crysaldor
Good story Theresa - good luck with it! Paul
This is interesting. I have put this on my watchlist. It will be good to read more of this :)
This has an interesting premise. There is certainly an 'other wordly' feel about all of this which adds to the intrigue. Overall your writing is good, but just watch how many adverbs creep in. I liked it, well done!
Great work Teresa, you must be one of those lucky people who didn't lose their imagination at puberty. I'll keep an eye out for it when it, (undoubtedly) gets published.Good luck, it's on my Watchlist to show my support.
Teresa, There’s a long tradition of using Christian history as underlying themes for fantasy stories aimed at young people.
CS Lewis and “The Chronicles of Narnia” come to mind as a prime example. So you’re certainly in good company with this venture. I’ll move this to my bookshelf
So there you have it. My little baby has flown the coup and is winging its' way to victory.