Locked up in the pokey

Hello my little chickadees.

Did you miss me? Ah go on whicha, course ya did, admit it. You like my warped sense of humour. I bet you've forgotten what I look like. This is me stuffing my face as usual.

By the end of this isolation I shall be very hairy I reckon and my hair is growing rapidly already as you can see!!

While I’m in pokey for the full 12 week duration, I decided to resurrect my blog and give you a weekly update of how I'm surviving. It's just stopping me from ending up at the funny farm really. Or an alco-frolic lol.

If you’re unsure of the word pokey (ha!) then here is the definition... pokey - a correctional institution used to detain persons who are in the lawful custody of the government. So I now consider myself in the lawful custody of the government dontcha know.

2020 And The World Held its Breath ©

Day 1 in pokey Monday 16th March 2020

My first day and I'm fed up already because I usually go out into town or meet up with friends. I'm sitting around in my jim jams at 9am (I can do the slob thing if I'm in enforced isolation) drinking a cup of rosylee. Its my blog I can call it what I want :)  

I decided to write a list, a plan of action if you prefer. It reads as follows,

Get showered! you're not that much of a slob.

Put jim jams back on. You might as well as there will be no visitors for 12 weeks

Make breakfast 

Check in on FB

Read kindle

Do some neglected housework

Check in on FB

Read kindle

Prepare items for crockpot

Make cuppa

Check in on FB

Read kindle

Catch up on some writing for WIP

I got bored with that so ripped off the sheet, screwed it up and binned it. Well technically I missed the bin and it's on the floor.So then what to do with all this time on my hands? I decided to be more constructive and wrote a proper list which would see me through Monday at least. It looked like this...

Get showered!

Put clean jim jams on.

Make cuppa

Read kindle.

So far so good. I made lunch in time to watch the 1pm news. Oh look its filled with news updates about the virus.  I ate my lunch and switched off after 20 minutes or so. It was so depressing hearing sad statistics. Decided to do some of my jigsaw, and after forcing wrong pieces into place to make them fit I gave up and made a drink. Then I went into the garden and rescued the canopy of my swing seat and screwed it back together again. Flipping winds.

Drink finished I looked at my WIP. That was it! I just looked and closed it again. This is when the thoughts of my blog rose to the forefront of my mind. I remember how much you enjoyed taking a virtual tour around my victims' cave and being held prisoner in chains. I had to make a graph in the end to accommodate you all. At that time my viewing statistics were going through the roof and beyond. They were heady days. Me chewing on your toes and other extremities when the urge took. (Wash your minds out! I meant arms and legs) as you hanged from the walls.

I stopped writing them for a very sad reason, although I did have one set up and ready to go. It was about a good FB friend who sadly left us for a better place, literally just before the interview went live. I was too broken up to post it at the time and I couldn't bring myself to do any more. The lovely Diane Milne will never be forgotten. Or her little ducks and poppy seeds. I bet she's sitting up there on her cloud with her harp in hand surrounded by little ducks and poppies, looking down fondly. Now seems a good time to start again, so I will carry on with the rest of my week.

Day 2 in pokey Tuesday 17th March 2020

Normally I would go to Slimming World and meet up with friends and then gloat that I didn't have to weigh in as I'm a target member. Which basically means I've got to my target weight, and no I'm not telling you but it's just under 10 stone, or around 140lbs for my American Canadian friends. Usually we would have a laugh together, commiserate, or take the 'p' out of ourselves. Instead of that, well I'm sitting here in my dressing gown, having showered and now enjoying a cup of rosy. (keep up) I'm deciding if I should get dressed or not. I made a bacon sarnie for brekkie, and it was delicious. Then I deep cleaned the shower room (kind of).
The puzzle was calling to me but I ignored it at first. I'm not really into this one as much as the last one I did, so its become a bit of a challenge.
I had my lunch slouching on the sofa while watching the 1pm news. Depressing as always. Showing more closures and how to wash your hands. I expect the schools will have to close soon.
I finished off the crockpot meal from yesterday for dinner. Whadya mean eww? It always tastes better on day two. I'm the woman who chewed and ate dirty toe nails and left over bits of limbs when I had my victim cave blog up and running. Some of you will remember.
It's 6pm and the sun must be over the yard arm somewhere so a glass of red wine is in order. I'm watching reruns of Monarch of the Glen. It's set in the Highlands of Scotland with beautiful scenery. Some of the cast fit into that 'Oh I fancy him in a kilt and full highland dress' category as well. Also I've got Vera and Endeavour recorded so they make good viewing if I get bored. What DID I do before isolation?
9.30pm and I'm going to bed with Faith Martin, (Hillary's Back) on my kindle. 

Day 3 in pokey Wednesday 18th March 2020

I'm beginning to enjoy this enforced isolation in pokey as I can wander from 'cell' to 'cell' at my own leisure and have full use of the kitchen, fridge, freezer, etc. The shower room is all mine too.

It's 6:30am. I'm sitting here with my cuppa and notice through the window that the plastic screw has come out of the canopy on my swing seat...again. Hunt for a screw then! (No I'm not that desperate - wash your minds out with carbolic soap, when you washy those handies :) Found the screw after scrabbling about in the (newly grown) grass and replaced it. It's an East North Easterly so you can bet your last bottom $/£ that I'll be doing this on repeat until the wind dies down.

Brekkie was a 3 egg omelette with spinach and red onion (my slimming world friends will understand) with a mug of rosylee. (Cockney rhyming slang for those still wondering)
My relatively new (young) next door neighbours text me today to check if I needed anything.  I thought that was a lovely gesture. I explained that I planned to try and work on my WIP which led to another conversation as they didn't realise that I was an author. They asked for a link to my books, so I gave them my Amazon author page and they were like - WOW! we didn't realise. We're avid readers and so is my mum so... :)
For lunch I decided to have a jacket potato with tuna and sweetcorn. Delicious. This afternoon i'm doing some more of the puzzle, although I have to admit i'm not so enamoured with this one. I prefer the colourful chocolate box country cottage type which I find relaxing. This one is a seaside scene from the 1950's and the colours seem somehow dull.

BoJo is on tv giving us an update on statistics and what plans the government have for us. Also what restrictions are in place. Oh and don't forget to washy your handies. Well it certainly makes a change from "Get Brexit Done" doesn't it.
6pm and decided to cook roasted veggies, and pork joint with stuffing balls and sweet potato wedges. Nom nom. A glass of red went down well.

Bojo has announced school closures from next Friday night. I guess it'll be pubs, restaurants etc next.
It's tv time and relaxation is in order. I'm still enjoying Monarch of the Glen as I haven't seen it since it was first released back in the day. Vera is keeping my criminal brain active as I try to work out "who did it" Sometimes I get it right, but then a major red herring is thrown in and my thoughts go to the pot.
Oh well it's 9:30 and my kindle is calling. I've just had a lovely cup of hot chocolate and I fear I'm turning into my dear departed mother who loved it.  Night folks and I'll see you tomorrow.... Oh wait! Shouldn't I check into 'nosy book' first? It looks like I have a shed load of notifications to read.

Day 4 in pokey Thursday 19th March 2020

Well it was 7:30 before I woke up this morning and very light outside. While the kettle was boiling for my usual morning cuppa I opened the back door to inhale some well needed fresh air. This started me coughing because it was so chuffing freezing! Am I mad? I shut the door and returned to making my tea. Lady Grey or Yorkshire brew. The Yorkshire Brew won.

What to do today? Should I make a really planned out constructive list of jobs to get me off my arse? I decided I might just do that. My rosylee and me, adjourned to the living room sofa and caught up with FB. Great Beelzebub and little fishes, some people have got their whole life on there. Get a grip folks. It's only a pandemic for goodness sake! 

We WILL get through this and beat it. BoJo has assured us of this. - He still reminds me of Tommy Cooper though with his hand gestures - "Just like that" Could I actually be warming to him?? Oh Lordee.

I showered and got my brekkie of porridge, honey and mixed dried fruit. I know! I like it okay? and it's warming on a cold day. Actually the sun is shinning and I may turn heating off now I've had my shower.I did the washing up and GOOD NEWS! Cyril squirrel is rushing around the garden digging up his stash of winter food. He's under the mock orange in my tub scratching at the earth. Head down, bum and tail in the air. "Have a bit of decorum Cyril, I'm watching, and I've only just had my breakfast!" 

He's just jumped off the tub and may have seen me because he's frozen in mid pose. Oh wait, there's a magpie hoping about on the other side of the grass. (I can't call it a lawn yet as it's a right mess from the high winds and rain we had before the world stopped turning.) I think he's watching him. The magpie has decided to move into the arena. He does take his chances the little tinker, but then he's got his wings on his side. Cyril has now moved towards him in a threatening gesture of "It's my garden, bog off and find some toilet rolls for the mistress of the house in case she runs short!" There's the usual quick move by Cyril across the arena and the magpie flying out of range. I wonder if he will come back with any supplies?

Lunch time and I just had a yoghurt while I watched the news which is becoming addictive now albeit repetitive. I considered making a list of jobs that desperately need doing but I keep getting sidetracked by emails etc coming in. Oh and FB of course. 

This afternoon I started working my way through a pile of filing that needs to be done and found my book of Poems that I wrote shed loads of years ago. I think I will add one each week to the blogs I do. 

I'm sitting here yet again on my arse wondering what to do for dinner tonight. The weird thing is the only difference between now and my original retirement is that I'm having enforced isolation. The length of days haven't changed in any way, but there just seems to be more time to fill and who knew that there was a movie 24 channel showing movies during the day? I've never been a daytime tv fan and never will be but I found myself channel flipping during the week and surprised myself. There are over 600 channels and I didn't fancy any of it! Mind you, there's no change there.

Decision made... I'm having pork chop mixed veggies and smashed up potato. It will eleviate the annoyance of being couped up in the house. As soon as that weather improves I'm out in the garden.

Having settled down in front of the tv with a glass of wine I'm chilling and enjoying night time tv. I've made it to the 10pm news without falling asleep so I just might watch it. Oh well I should have known it would be a repeat of the lunchtime news. 

I'm taking Faith Martin and Hillary to bed. I may last at least a couple of chapters before I doze off. Night folks.

Day 5 in pokey Friday 20th March 2020

I woke up at 3:05am and debated making a drink but it was cold. I finally got back to sleep somewhere around 5:00am. How do I know? because the last time I looked at my phone it said 04:55 and I don't recall anything after that until I woke up again to daylight. It was 08:16am. The house was lovely and warm and I plodded downstairs in my jim jams and snuggly dressing gown to make a cuppa. 

There was no sign of Cyril squirrel, he must have been long gone, if he actually turned up at all. He gets quite stroppy if I'm not there when he arrives. Did you know they chatter to attract your attention and warn of trouble? Perched on my fence or in the trees, he's woken me up before now in the summer. I guess he thinks it's funny. As soon as I look out of the window, some sixth sense makes him turn to look at me and then he runs off. I've noticed that the canopy on the swing seat has come unscrewed again, so hunt the screw again then.

I've been totally dossing around today and doing nothing of any interest. Oh I did a bit more of the puzzle which was surprisingly relaxing. I also found the canopy screw and that's now back in place. I wouldn't mind but it's in a sheltered spot for goodness sake. At least the wind has dropped now. Homemade soup is in the crockpot along with anything which was starting to need to be used up. The base was mainly leeks and chillies. Perhaps next time I won't go so mad with the chillies. Wine with a fair few glasses of water last night.

Exciting news... I've survived the first week with just the weekend to go. I'll soon get the hang of this malarky :)

This is the first of my weekly poems. I've only just discovered that I wrote them in 2007. 

TERESA'S ALPHABET SOUP
T is for tramlines, time and toes
E is for everything and heaven knows
R is for rice and rain and rear
E is for ebony earth and ear
S is for sugar, savoury and success
A is for abrasion, absorb and access
G is for go, going and Geering
E is for elongate, ear and earring
E is for enrage and maybe an eel
R is for river, rage and a reel
I  is for indigo, incest and ink
N is for nearly, almost the end
G is for going just round the bend ©



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Laters potaters