Losing the will in the pokey

Hello my little chickadees 

Due to the sudden change in the weather from 25 deg down to around 17 deg I've gone slightly mad. I’ve been wearing a hula skirt, wild flowers wrapped around my top wobbly bits. I've got naturally brown legs from all the sun recently, a hairy moustache and dirty blonde roots. I just bet you can imagine it. 

How are you coping with the lock down? Some days I really struggle. How about you? Do you want to tell me about it? You might as well I’ve got nothing else to do except write this blog, housework, and gardening. No? Ok then here we go with the diary....

Day 41 Monday 27^th April

Another early rise for me this morning as I just knew my blog was going to be a beastie to post and I was right. Armed with a cuppa and some fruit for my brekkie, I made a start. I spent most of the morning trying to post the blethin thing. I took a break for lunch and finally it stopped trying to top itself and posted.

Lunch I decided on a quick cheese and pickle sandwich. I haven’t had one of those for ages. 

Blow me if my emails folder didn’t do a runner and went walk about. Then they just reappeared when I went back into them. What ever!

It turned pretty mucky outside but the bird feeders needed filling so I made the effort and the birds sat in a row on the fence and thanked me individually. At least I think that’s what it was. Or maybe they were just telling me off. Who knows. 

While I was out I checked on the clematis and passion flower I replanted. They seem ok and it’s probably the only passion in my life at the moment which suits me just fine.

I came in and put my feet up after checking the rest of the garden. Next bit of movement will be the honeysuckle. I was given some tips on taking cuttings. 

That’s a job for tomorrow if it doesn’t rain.

I decided to do chilli for dinner tonight with savory rice and a glass of wine. Just the one Mrs Wembly . (Very old, English comedy TV series with Dennis Waterman.)

I caught up on Monarch of the Glen which I’ve been missing, had a mug of hot chocolate and I was off up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire. Nighty night.

Day 42 Tuesday 28^th April

So then I woke up before 6am and I was wide awake. I pulled the front bedroom curtains and …. What a grotty day outside. Jim jams this morning and my dressing gown as I supped at my cuppa rosy (don’t start you know by now what I’m on about)

I had a massive grill up again for brekkie – bacon eggs mushrooms and tinned tomatoes with multi seeded brown toast. Well of course it would be wouldn’t it? It’s toasted. So many smart arses out there.

Then it was time to catch up with emails, followed by a bit of promotion of the lovely Joely Tonna and Crystal Chard. Both authors local to me and joely of course did the Lockdown song. If you haven’t heard it then you can listen to it here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6w4LwYctBg&feature=youtu.be

Here's a bit of cosmic synchronicity. I spoke to Joely on messenger and we discovered the following, bearing in mind that I've never met her before and never heard of her before hearing the Lockdown song.

Coincidence 1
I stated that I knew a Fabiola Tonna when my son was growing up. It’s her sister!
Coincidence 2
I mentioned that back in the 70’s my friend and I had rented a house in Malta from a Joe Tonna. He’s her dad and it’s her family home.
Coincidence 3 I had lost touch with the friend and it turns out she’s a dear friend of Joely. So there you have it. Sometimes fate works in mysterious ways

Well I had to get the bin in so I showered and dressed in trackies. You can throw them off in the wash bin in a jiffy. It takes longer to pop the sterile gloves on and disinfect the whole bin with wipes. 

My next mission was to replace the battery in the remote control for the radio. I couldn’t get the back open because I’ve got nerves trapped in my left hand (don’t go there) So after a consultation with a friend, he came up with a suggestion to open it. It was that or throw it, but I’m a stubborn cow that doesn’t like to be beaten. I won’t tell you how I managed it as it would take to long but it’s finally done.

This took me up to the 11am one minute silence for all the NHS that had died through Corona virus. I watched it on the ‘net and yes it was very emotional as the news panned all over the country.

Lunch was macaroni cheese on toast which was very nom nom. I haven’t had that for ages and washed it down with a coffee for a change. It’s good to ring the changes.

I decided to read through one of my works in progress. It gave me some new ideas for the plot lines. It seems forever since I wrote anything on my novels, it’s been mostly short stories and this blog, which surprisingly takes up quite I bit of time. I take notes during the day and write it up the following morning. It’s Wednesday but I’m writing up Tuesdays diary.

Dinner tonight was the last of the chilli with pasta. Why does it always taste better second time around? Ok I know why. It was rhetorical. 

I took a cup of hot chocolate to bed at 9pm and read my psychological thriller I downloaded. Very much a “don’t leave your feet out of bed and keep the duvet up to the chin.” I finally put it down around 11pm. Nighty night.

Day 43 Wednesday 29^th April

I didn’t wake up until just after 7am and … drum roll … I managed an all nighter even with the late drink. Whoop! Also, I’d been drinking water all day so well chuffed with that.

Some of my fruit was getting a bit ripe so I decided to have that for breakfast.

Most of the morning I was taking honeysuckle cuttings. Well in between showers and sunshine. My garden can so do with the rain as it’s like concrete and the earth is cracked. Good news…! My seedlings in trays on the windowsill have started to make an appearance, well except for the peppers. I think they must be Australian. I love watching them slowly germinate.

For lunch I needed warming up so I did a jacket potato with cottage cheese and chocolate and coconut green tea for a change. Very tasty.

After lunch I decided to check out my hair root growth and moustache … oh dear, big mistake. Oh well….

I felt a bit decadent around 5pm so I had some chocolate raisins and a glass of wine. I put it down to the crap weather. I so miss that gorgeous sunshine of last week. Was it last week? I don’t know, the days and weeks all roll into one at the moment.

After dinner which was salmon topped with chilli and garlic; added mixed veggies, I binged out on catch up tv and had an early nightery to read my psychological thriller. It’s really grabbed me and it’s getting darker by the chapter. So nighty night and see you tomorrow.

Day 44 Thursday 30^th April

Morning all Well I was awake three times during the night all bathroom visits, which is down to all the water I drank yesterday. I gave up and got up at 5am and made myself a cuppa rosy – now now, behave and put those hands down and put the brains in gear.

I tuned in and chatted to Webbo at 6am and did some of his brain gymnastic games. I got pipped to the post by Dapper Dickey Freeman to be top of the texting tree so I told Webbo to duff him up. Mid morning I finally decided to have brekkie which was chocolate chip Weetabix. 40 grams to be exact to be slimming world friendly. 

I wasn’t very hungry at lunch time so around 3pm I had a tuna sandwich which I haven’t had for ages.

Dinner was S P and O. Anyone remember what that is? (S)ausages, (P)otatoes mashed and (O)nions fried. Lush and washed down with a mug of rosy lee!!

8pm I was outside with my neighbours clapping our hearts out. Each week there are even more joining in with pots and spoons, all making as much noise as we can. A special cheer went up as our neighbour who is a paramedic appeared on the doorstep. We owe so much to them. In some cases our lives, whether it’s trough this situation or other ailments.

I caught up with another neighbour I haven’t seen for ages (social distancing of course) but we both got so cold that we agreed to do the same thing next Thursday.

Hot chocolate was called for which warmed me through. I’ll probably get a sugar surge with all this chocolate. I managed to stay awake until just before 10pm so I popped off the beddy byes with my kindle. Nighty night.

Day 45 Friday 1^st May

I was only awake twice last night for bathroom visits. Soooo much water I’m drinking and I didn’t wake up until well after 7am. Late on parade as I’m usually one of Webbo’s early risers. I did enjoy my 3 egg spinach omelette though. 

Lots to do today and need to check on my new seedlings that are shooting up. They are red onions, spring onions, carrots and a little tomato plant in the bottom picture. 

Time to feed the birds and top up all the feeders. I have one feeder that looks like a little house and hangs from a mock orange bush but it’s quite difficult to fill. So I hold the bag of food in my left arm and take handfuls of seeds out to fill it with my right hand (still with me?) Well, while I was concentrating on filling the small gap under the roof of the house I suddenly realised the top of the bag had tipped over and now there is a big pile of bird seed on the grass. Someone will have a full puffed out stomach tonight. 

My stomach is growling and I'm in need of some sustenance but what to have? Ok I settled on strawberries and yoghurt. It's a bigun of a pot and I'll probably only manage half. Actually I fancy a sandwich as well; maybe cheese and pickle. I might have sausages again tonight with veggies and sweet potato wedges. The sausages need using up.

I was late with dinner tonight so I had a glass of wine with it. Gardeners World got recorded and I finally watched it before going to bed. Guess what I'll be doing in bed? Yep the kindle is waiting. Nighty night. See you next week on Day 48 still locked in the pokey.

 Just for a change I’m including one of my short stories that I wrote just after I started writing full time. The book Eye of Erasmus managed to get to drum roll ...... #3 on Amazon. 

Of course, it’s now incorporated in the trilogy called Soulfate. Here’s the link if you want to take a look…

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00J7HGF4W

Here ya go then

THE PERFECT MAN 

Feeling bored on the earthly plain I needed a change. Isn’t it great when you’ve got two places of residence?

My earthly home was great when the sun was shining and frequently I sat there sipping wine and dreaming of the perfect man. Was there one? No way! I could always invent one of course then I could mould him into perfection. This meant putting words on paper as writers do.

If you’ve never been very close to a cloud such as mine, then I imagine you would think a cloud is a cloud right? No! Mine was special; soft, fluffy and just big enough to lay flat out on, but also large enough for one more body when I had the urge.

On this particular day I was feeling lonely. I needed a mate to either pass the time with or at least one to fantasize about. I had my notebook with me and my wild imaginings started to take shape. What was I looking for in the perfect lover or indeed the perfect man? He needed to be a bit on the wild side. Just enough on the side of eye candy to create an interest for me. He would also need a bit of a sadistic nature to combat my wild ways. How about a bit of a dark side of which I would know nothing?  I was really getting into this now, and the thought excited me. I sat and pondered a bit more just to see if I could enhance him in any way. This is when fantasy started to take over. He would be called Erasmus and would be my very own time travelling lover with attitude. I fell in love with him, my very own secret lover.

As I lay there re reading what I had written it got me wondering why writers write. Was it just for fun, escapism, or just because they had to see words on paper. Who knows? It’s a personal thing I guess.

That’s when it happened! I suddenly found myself writing a story around my perfect man. I even had the title all prepared. It would be called the Eye of Erasmus.

This arrogant man (who by now I had fallen in love with) also needed to be brought down a peg or two. I allowed him to bed as many women and in some cases men as he wanted and then pull him up sharply. Did he really think he was going to get away with that? No way! I allowed him a vision in which he saw the woman of his dreams. Would I allow him to make contact with her though? 

I suddenly realised I had become a writer and was doing it purely for escapism. How did I feel about that?

Hell I don’t know but it sure was fun. ©

Laters Potaters

Institutionalised in the pokey

Hello my little chickadees.

How are you all? Still inside staying safe I hope. So then, what have I been up to this week. Here's your weekly fix.

Day 34 Monday 20^th April

Well I had a late start this morning, so had a brunch, which was a SW fry up and it was delicious.

Most of the morning was taken up by sorting out my blog and posting it. Why does it pose such a problem at times? I blame blogger, it can’t be anything to do with my technological expertise. Hah!

I spent a lot of the morning talking to Joely Tonna on FB. You must remember her, she was the young lady I included in my blog last week singing It’s a lockdown. It turns out that she also wrote a book for 8 – 12 year olds called Living the Dream which I’ve been promoting. Joely belongs to a book club and recommended my books to them, so it was a win win. Here's the link.

1https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Dream-Joely-Tonna-ebook/dp/B07KWFNCFR/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Joely+Tonna&qid=1587977563&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

I had an early dinner for a change as I was a bit Hank Marvin. Cockney rhyming slang. Come on, keep up you lot. It was a chicken stir fry with veggies, chillies, garlic and Greek yoghurt.

I decided to watch the news. Mega mistake. It’s just so depressing. I’d rather scroll the news channel on my phone. That way you can scroll past what you don’t want to read.

Oh I actually remembered to put the bins out. Yay. I popped out quickly in my jim jams and dressing gown. Well it was after dark and there was no one about.

I made a cuppa of Lady Grey for a change. What’s the betting I don’t complete an all nighter.

I gave up on the puzzle by the way. Did I say? It was boring me to be honest. Anyway, I’m off to snuggle up with my kindle. Night night.

Day 35 Tuesday 21^st April

And here we go again. It’s another day in the pokey. If it wasn’t for the nice weather and getting out in the garden I’d be in the funny farm I think. Some say I’m an escaped resident anyway. The refuse collectors woke me up, so I thought I may as well start the day. I went down in my dressing gown which came undone as I opened the back door. Ew that chill of cool air on bare skin. Brrr roll on full summer.

I popped the kettle on while I got the bin. I should add that I was showered and dressed by now.

Gloves (tick) 

Sterile wipes (tick)

I wiped all around the gate latch before I brought the bin in. Then it was a matter of wiping the handle and top of bin. The disposing of the gloves. Better safe than sorry Eh?

Kettle had boiled, so I took cuppa into the lounge and took out my Angels and Ancestors Oracle Cards. These are new to me and I love them. I shuffle each time I use them and let them choose a card for me. Wonderful artistry by Lily Moses. Many of you didn’t know that I’ve been psychic, clairvoyant, clairaudient, psychometry, and a distance healer, animal healer, and loads of other things since a youngster. Well you do now.

I had fruit for brekkie this morning with strawberry yogurt for a change. Oh and no I didn’t make it through the night. No idea what time I got up but it was still dark. 

I do think my hay fever is worse this year. I wonder if it’s to do with the clear air quality. Fortunately, I found a fresh pack of my hay fever tabs.

I’ve got a Tesco delivery today. I have no time slot, so it means I’ve got to hang around inside. I’m just chuffed that I got one, so I spent nearly all day on the Mac while I was waiting.

I need some exercise me thinks. I turned up the radio and had a bit of a dance around the room. I think the song was sex on the beach. Those were the days lol.

Yay the Tesco man has been and we were like one of those clocks where the man goes inside as the woman pops out trying to do social distancing. We managed it quite well. I do so hate putting shopping away though, it’s like going on a mission. It meant I could have a couple of hours in the garden sitting in the sun. Lovely. A glass of iced water for when It got too warm and the parasol was close by if it got too hot.

I finally came in around 6ish and left the birds to their feeding. My garden is full of robins, white collard doves and pigeons. I love it.

Salmon and salad for dinner with a glass of wine. A bit of telly catch up and to bed. Nighty night.

Day 36 Wednesday 22^nd April

I had a really good nights’ sleep and woke just before 6am

Absolutely wide awake. As usual I tuned into Webbo. I don’t always take part in his brain gymnastics but I enjoy listening.

This morning I was back on the Mac again. This time editing my story for the UK Crime Book Club Spring Shorts. It’s a seasonal thing so to speak with Halloween tossed into the mix as well. I love doing short stories and try to keep to the theme. This one’s a bit different though as it’s sci-fi. 

After lunch I potted up all the veggie seeds. I’m a bit late this year but it’s strange times. Anyway they are all sitting on my windowsill enjoying the sun, until they start to pop their shoots up.

Guess what I did next? Straight out in the garden to enjoy the sun. Yet again I stayed out there until dinner time. I even took a glass of wine out there around 17:45 and watched the birds feed around me. If I don’t move they are happy with me being there. My garden is so magical at times. It’s a joy to sit there and watch the sun go down.

I decided to have an early night and carry on with the story I’m reading. It’s a psychological thriller by S. Burke. I always get so absorbed in her stories. Nighty night.

Day 37 Thursday 23 April

Well I had another good nights sleep and took my early morning cuppa into the garden. It was warm and peaceful. I made the decision to do an early morning watering as the ground was so dry. That took me a couple of hours. I could feel the tops of my naked legs getting burnt already, so I swopped  my short shorts for a knee length pair. Behave! I’m beyond the days of skimpy bikini bottoms… Well maybe… 

After lunch there was a loud knock on my front door. As I opened it, my granddaughter Maddie scuttled back to my son on the other side of the fence while I stayed at the door. Mum was working from home and Maddie was going stir crazy and in need of a hug. Of course it couldn't happen and it became quite emotional at one point love her.

Tonight at 8pm my neighbours and I were outside clapping for everyone and slowly the numbers are increasing and getting noisier. The community feeling is wonderful. I do hope it lasts.

Early night for me with a cuppa. Nighty night.

Day 38 or is it Day 6738? It feels like it to be honest, but in fact it’s Friday 24^thApril

I woke later today. Typical when I’d planned on so much work in the garden. I dug up a passion flower and clematis to replant in the sun. Totally the wrong time but they grow up my shed which desperately needs replacing. If I leave them to flower and grow as usual, then I will have to cut them both back when I replace the shed and they will get damaged. So they’ve got two chances. 

After lunch I checked my hair growth. Yep it’s coming along nicely. My roots are a sort of dirty blonde colour but the sun is bleaching my hair as usual anyway. So I can sort of live with that. My moustache and leg hair though… Oh deary me. I sooo need some threading and waxing done… Sighs. I'm just going to shut my eyes to it.

It was so lovely in the garden I decided to spend the afternoon and evening there. It was absolutely beautiful just sitting there watching the sun go down with a couple of glasses of wine. The breeze was rustling the leaves of the trees. The sky was a tropical blue and the birds were feeding at the feeders. I wonder where Cyril is? I’m going to put his squirrel hotel up tomorrow and fill it with food. I can see him wrecking it at first feeding. Oh well. Nighty night folks. See you next week.

I've got another book for you to check out and yes another local author to me who has brought out her debut novel. Here's the link and check out the reviews.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B086FWHYJZ#customerReviews

MARY ANN GEERING

THE MURDERING MOTHER

1800 – 1849

I have an ancestor named the murdering mother

She killed at random like no others.

Lived in Guestling in Sussex by the sea

This has only recently become known to me.

She married Richard Geering when pregnant with the first

At Westfield in a little church.

She bumped him off for his money you see

Twenty pounds in total was told to me.

During 1846 and 1849

She killed her children one at a time.

The coroner and police got wind

Realising that she had sinned.

Exhumed the bodies to check it out

Poison was used there is no doubt.

Sentenced to hang by the neck until dead 

Recorded in history and now widely read. ©

Laters Potaters

And i'm still in the pokey

5/12 Living in the pokey

Thorntons Egg Nom Nom

Hello my little chickadees

Well Easter went well don’t you think. How strange was that? The days just seemed to roll into one another.

 Easter Saturday I spent mostly chilling in the garden. I’m really enjoying catching up on my reading in the sun. So relaxing and you can forget about the current troubles in the world.

Easter Sunday my neighbour invited me to join him in a roast pork dinner with all the trimmings. It was delicious and I had my wine while he was drinking spirits. I should add that he was sitting in the corner of his garden in the shade and I was doing social distancing under the umbrella in my garden. 

 So then another week of excitement begins. Oh this is an updated piccy of me before I start my diary for you

Day 27 Easter Monday 15th April

I spent mostly indoors doing jobs that I have been putting off which took me around to lunchtime. I got the MacBook Air out and updated my blog. I also re-edited my short story for the UK Crime Book Club. It will be featured there next Thursday. I do them mostly for fun and giggles (what’s new there) but this time it has a sci-fi flair to it.

I watched the one o’clock news while I had my lunch (you can make up your own thoughts on what I made) The news was as depressing as always so I tuned out and then finally turned it off. I also fannied about on FB for a while but it’s the same old same old. Around 3pm I found myself dozing and decided to give in to it and woke up… Well of course I woke up, I’m in this for the long haul, whatever it takes. 

Anyhows I made a cuppa rosy (don’t start you’re getting boring now) and wondered what to make for dinner. I fancied steak with roast veggies again and I must say it was delicious.

I caught up with some Easter time TV during the evening with a glass of wine. Well it is Easter after all. 

Early night though with my faithful kindle. Nighty night.

Day 28 Tuesday 14^th April 

Day 649 or something like that in quarantine. Well that’s what it feels like. It’s bin day and guess who didn’t put the bin out? I wrongly assumed they would be a day behind because of the Bank Holiday, but no. So, I’ve now got a fairly full recycling bin mostly filled with wine bottles and takeaway containers. 

Ok so I’ve been fibbing about these homemade meals that I’ve been tempting your taste buds with. Or am I???? 

There was no way I was taking the bin out in my birthday suit. I hadn’t ironed it for goodness sake AND they may decide not to come back to me next week. Not worth the risk. I’ll just squash down the recycling cardboard etc. to make more room. 

See … I was kidding you. I can’t remember the last time I had a take away to be honest. 

Did I tell you that the UKCBC talked me into recording an audio chapter for their Virtual Crime Festival? Actually, I quite enjoyed it as it was from my current work in progress.

Just before lunch there was an ominous, very loud, knock on the door which made me jump. It turned out to be an Amazon delivery of my new toy; the Echo Dot. It was a week early. After putting on my gloves and disinfecting all the outer covering I put it by the TV to set up later. I had to download the app of course which I did later. 

I took a soft drink out to the garden to just sit and enjoy the fresh air but it was pigging freezing with the strong easterly wind so I came in again. Not my wind I hasten to add. I did some more recording of my audio and finally finished it to my satisfaction. There’s nothing like getting half way through a recording and pronouncing a word wrongly. The word was patron but I kept pronouncing it patronne as in the French way for some reason. I even put warning markers to advise me it was coming up. Eventually I spelt it pay-tron and coloured it red to make sure I saw it coming up. Problem solved.

I had a late dinner of chicken rice with fizzy pink lemonade and watched some catch up. Oh I know how to live the high life when I’m stuck in. Night night.

Day 29 Wednesday 15^th April

I woke up at 04.10 for wee and blamed it on the pink fizzy lemonade. I’ll pin the blame on anything that’s not age related but I did fall back to sleep until 07.35 which was a bonus.

It was really cold as I’d left the little window open wider than usual so snuggled down and caught up on FB. Everyone is still playing games by the look of it.

I was getting hungry and thirsty so decided on a slimming world fry up for brekkie. 

I actually did some housework this afternoon, which frightened the life out of the spiders busy spinning webs everywhere. The vacuum cleaner seemed a bit shocked as well, but it plodded along reluctantly complaining every so often as it was tired poor thing. I must admit I did more that I anticipated and decided on a nice cuppa. I had coffee for a change. 

Dinner came and went and I caught up on a few recorded episodes of Monarch of the Glen which I’d recorded. The kindle was calling so … nighty night.

Day 30 Thursday 16^th April

I woke at 05.40 for a wee which was long enough to call it nearly an all nighter. That’ll do for me. For some reason I was wide awake and lay there listening to the birds and their dawn chorus. The sun rise was beautiful to watch. Especially this time of the year. I put Webbo on the radio at 6am and got involved in his “early riser” brain teasers. I wasn’t too shabby either. Thursday is the new quarter to Friday time. See - I'm educational as well.

I decided to get up early with my day all planned out whilst I’d been listening to the radio. I drank my early cuppa and then promptly dozed off on the sofa. Fortunately I had finished my drink. So much for my early morning plans so I worked  on my UKCBC short story for a while and then had a continental breakfast for a change. Mmmm.

I was going into the garden to plant some seeds but I got side tracked sorting out the bird feeders and trying to make them squirrel proof. I actually sat in the garden with a coffee. Very unusual for me but it was nice. Oh and I tripped up on one of Cyril’s holes at the top of the garden when I was sorting out some dead wood. I haven’t seen him lately. That’s probably the kiss of death.

Later on in the evening at 8pm on the dot, I went outside of my front door stood on the path and clapped for the NHS along with all my other neighbours. It’s starting to get quite noisy now with whistles, saucepan lids and car horns. Anything to make a noise with. Oh and a couple of fireworks. Where would we be without them. 

Time for a glass or two and then bedey byes. Nighty night.

Day 31 Friday 17^th April

Woke up at some time

Came down and made my rosy.

What day is it? Checks and see’s it’s a Friday at some point in my life time. 

What can I occupy myself with today I’m wondering? I was thinking about housework again but that thought just passed through on its way to somewhere else thank the gods.

I fancied a cornetto chocolate chip ice cream for brekkie. Anything goes these days it seems, but I thought about my weight and slimming world and instead settled for porridge with honey and mixed dried fruit.

I checked my roots as I passed the mirror in the bathroom. Big mistake, I shouldn’t have done that, oh and my moustache is growing nicely. Maybe it will become trendy after this entrapment.

I checked into FB and everyone is still playing games of one type or another keeping their moral up which is excellent.

Lunch time came and then went. I thought about having a jacket potato filled with corn and tuna for lunch outside in the garden but it was pigging cold out there. Earlier in the week I was getting sunburnt. Hah.

I’ve ordered a squirrel hotel for Cyril but he’ll probably wreck it within a week. I’m going to have to tie it to a tree or screw it to the fence.

My life seems to resonate around food at the moment and I started wondering what to have for dinner. I settled for salmon with baby potatoes and rocket leaves.

Caught up on TV in the evening with a couple glasses of wine and had an early night with my kindle. How the other half live eh?

This is a link to a young girl that lives within my local community. 

Her name is Joely Tonna but she goes under the name of Joely Tiger. Enjoy the topical lyrics and music plus everything else in this catchy and addictive song which is very appropriate at the moment. She is also a very modest young lady. Please take a look at her link below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6w4LwYctBg&feature=youtu.be

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6w4LwYctBg&feature=youtu.be

See you next week for more life in the pokey.

FAT VERSUS THIN

Some of us are fat and some of us are thin

When a pretty girl walks past we try to suck it in

Why do we do this, it doesn’t matter a jot

They’ll like us just the same if we’re thin or not

A smile is the thing it gets us noticed first

Not if we tighten a belt and then look fit to burst

Look into someone’s eyes

There the truth will be

They don’t care if we’re fat or thin

Just if it’s you or me. ©

Laters potaters

4/12 Still locked up in the pokey

Hello my little chickadees 

Well that was a fantastic weekend and the weather was amazing. So then here we go and the format seems to be changing weekly. I guess it stops it from becoming stale.

Day 20 Monday 6th April

I woke up pretty early actually and yep I awoke during the night for the usual trip to the bathroom. I got back into bed and settled down and then had to get up to go again! Really? Whats all that about? mega sighs.

I had oats with honey and dried mix fruit for brekkie. We’ve had this discussion before so don’t start again you’re beginning to become boring, I like it okay? I did my ablutions and had such a time getting all the oats out of my teeth .. AND I’ve got an electric toothbrush. Anyone else have that trouble I wonder?

I spent most of the day uploading the blog. well that was the plan, it started to drive me to despair. Blogger is really playing up since this work from home malarkey started. I may have to stop doing these if blogger is going to continually play up. The trouble is I can see it saving in blogger, but when I close the page to upload it, it then tells me that I have unsaved changes. Jog on for goodness sake you’ve just saved it! Twice I've lost everything and had to retype it all. I was losing the will to live. I’ve now started to copy and paste from a word document, which seems to help. Finally, I got it to upload and post.

Lunch was a crab stick salad which was very tasty and it was so beautiful outside I ate it in the garden. Lots of hand washing has been going on today and the sound of motor bikes going up and down the main road slightly off in the distance really wound me up. 
My son and his wife's friend lives next door and we had a nice quite drink together in the sun … Him in his garden and me in mine keeping the designated distance between us... We conversed between the large gap in one of my garden bushes. So we could both see and hear each other. We were both safe and yet there were even more dickheads racing around the main road in the distance. Stupid people make me angry. Moving on before I get started.

We stayed out there most of the afternoon and early evening and the wine flowed just a little bit J

Dinner was a huge salad with boiled baby potatoes.

Eventually I took my kindle to bed and carried on reading my psychological thriller about a serial killer. Great to read just before bed.

Day 21 Tuesday 7th April

Woke up at 06.28. How precise is that? I did another all nighter and I'm proud of my achievement You have to be of a certain age to understand how uplifting this is. (anytime from 40 years onward will do it)

I had lots to do today and it was going to be 16 deg which is pretty warm for April. So I ignored FB and popped downstairs to make my rosy and listen to Webbo. I can’t have him all on his own chatting to himself on the radio. He gets up before 5am to do his radio show and update us on what we need to know regarding who's delivering food etc in the community. Not everyone can get a supermarket shop delivered now. 

Actually it’s quite nice to sit outside with a beverage and enjoy the first rays of the sun. There’s a strong feeling of Spring in the air. Absolutely super for us hay fever sufferers. Not...!

Showered and dressed in shorts and top with a track suit on, because quite frankly I’m not interested in getting dressed up to get the bins in now. I’m sure the bin men don’t give a hoot as they’re too busy trying to protect themselves I reckon.

After brekkie and another cuppa I got stuck into shredding old paper receipts and bills. There’s something immensely satisfying about that job. Most of it was about two years old. 

By one o’clock I was starving and my small portable shredder was gasping for breath and quite hot, so I prepared lunch of jacket potato and salad while it cooled down. I washed it down with wait for it … a bottle of water and very nice it was too.

The garden was calling me. Mostly it talks to me quite nicely but sometimes It’s extremely rude like when it come out with, “Oi! Are you going to weed and water me or what?” Probably ‘or what’. Anyway, I digress; I spent the afternoon in the garden reading and trying to avoid Cyril’s nut holes. Some of them are truly worse than the pot holes in the roads around here. He finds it funny when I trip down them. It was beautiful sitting in the garden as it’s quite sheltered.

I decided on chilli with sour cream and a few chips for dinner as I’m still doing Slimming World even though it’s virtual at the moment. I don’t want to go back to the weight I was thank you and my back wouldn’t be too happy either carrying the extra weight again.When it began to get dark I sat outside with a glass of Merlot and watched the pink super moon. It was truly awesome, and then I decided to toddle off to bed and read.

Day 22 Wednesday 8th April

Another beautiful day in Christendom – so to speak, and I took my cuppa to the back door to drink it. I had a rare visit by an old friend. I call him “It’s NOT my cat!” because he used to pop in now and again, have a wander around and then sit in the garden for a while before wandering off.  He meowed at me and demanded a stroke along his back, which I gave him and then promptly washed those handies thoroughly, just in case because I don’t know where he come from and I refuse to tempt providence in any way. He wandered around inside for a while just being nosy and then slinked off into the garden as usual.

I finished off the shredding (neglected after our previous conversation) ready for my new portable file carrier and did some filing. Having got the boring grot stuff out of the way I enjoyed a three egg ham and tomato omelette for brekkie. Very ‘nommy’

I spent the rest of the day in the garden as the sun was lovely. There was loads of tidying up to do after the winter storms, and I can’t wait to order a new shed. My current one is doing it’s best but it’s definitely struggling and won’t last another year. I definitely needed to wash my handies after being in there. Talk about muck and bullets. Soo many cobwebs and spiders. I definitely needed the trackie bottoms, wellies, long sleeved top and pith helmet. I must have looked just like a flowerpot man from the kiddies programmes of years ago. Having climbed over the lawn mower and every other obstacle I put in there at the end of last winter, I found all my old wind chimes hanging up. I negotiated the way back slowly. Just remember I have several, heavy wind chimes in both hands now to put around the garden trees. I definitely want to get some more solar lights locally, but it’s not classed as essential shopping so they will have to wait awhile. Sighs. I seem to be getting into a pattern now of working inside during the morning, and working in the garden in the afternoon. I was quite knackered by dinner time so I ate inside as it began to get dark (steak and salad and yep a glass of course) Lots of catch up TV to watch and then beddie byes. Nighty night.

Day 23 Thursday 9^th April

I woke up at just after 1am wide awake – no I didn’t need the loo, I think it might have been the super moon’s influence and I watched it for a while through the open curtains. It was huge and (to me) powerful. I love the moon, can you guess? I went back to sleep just before 5am and slept ‘til 9am. Ok I also played around on FB as well, I also felt like I’d been hit with a sledge hammer when I woke up. 

I had a cuppa in the garden along with my brekkie and spent the day in the garden working. Yes of course I got showered and dressed first, wise guy. Hah!  I just popped in for water and snacks and it was lovely. I wasn’t very hungry so had a light supper and sloped off to bed with a hot chocolate and my kindle. Another day tomorrow and I think I got a bit sunburnt today on my arms and back. See you tomorrow.

 Day 24 Friday 10^th April Good Friday

Well for most people this would be the first day of a long Easter holiday weekend but as most people except key workers are self isolating it’s just another day at the moment. My day started early at 7am. Ok I lied; it’s not that early for me but then I hopped to the bathroom twice during the night. It’s all the extra water I’m taking on at the moment. It was obviously going to be a good day weather wise  as the usual dickheads were already out on the main road. So many evil thoughts went through my mind, but I sincerely wish that they get away with their stupidity. I wouldn’t wish this virus on anyone. However, will they ever learn? probably not.

I decided on spending another day in the garden and I could see that Cyril had been about as more of my tubs had been dug over. He’s a right little ‘tinker’. I got on with pruning the bushes and it was lovely to hear the birds singing in the trees.

After lunch my young neighbour joined me in the garden observing social distancing of course with him at his table on his side and me at mine under the umbrolley. It was really pleasant just sitting there with a glass of wine and reminiscing over the past, as he and my son had grown up together playing in either my garden or his. The twelve pairs of trainers that were always lined up in a neat row on the stairs to my son’s bedroom became the norm. Playing music and computer games in my sons' room. A mixture of kids from their school and quite often broken homes. At least if they were there, then I knew they were safe. In some cases it was a safe haven from home life. Most of them still call me mum to this day. They always had two chances. Screw up the first time over anything and I let them off after a bit of a talking too. Do it again and they didn’t return.That was my only rule and I very rarely had any trouble. They’re all grown up with their own families now.

Eventually I moved inside to watch TV that I had recorded while he went in to watch some Netlix. It was a very relaxing evening, but then I taught him how to tie his shoes laces as a youngster.

After a while via FB messenger, I chatted to my author friend in Germany and it was good to touch base. We are a bit nutty when we get together, but then I got him in a headlock to bring him over to the dark side back in the day.

After reading for a while I decided to call it a night and await the coming of Easter. Nighty night.
Enjoy your Easter weekend.

MY MOBILE PHONE

I had a trusty mobile phone it really was the best

I loved it heart and soul, it was better than the rest

I dropped it in a glass of wine that I call 'wonky neck'

That's J P Chenet if you really care a feck

It needed warmth and heat I thought to dry its little innards

So I put it in the airing cupboard alongside all my knickers

It stayed there for a long weekend getting drier by the hour

Hopefully a charge would hold and give it back some power

With shaking hands I took it out it looked ok to me

I took a chance and plugged it in and waited just to see

Whether my little mobile friend would work again for me

A tiny drop of blood oozed out or maybe it was wine

It coughed and spluttered in torment that little friend of mine

Then it died a death so awful it really was unkind

What a way to go though, drowning in red wine. ©

Laters potaters